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Why Perfectionism Is Holding You Back (& How to Break Free)
Sunday, December 01, 2024
Get all the details below:
Summary:
Perfectionism is nothing more or less than the socially acceptable way to say "I'm insecure". It's the fear of criticism. People are afraid that others will judge them harshly on their work. As a result, they procrastinate for ages trying to make it "perfect" to avoid that judgment. If you want success, drop perfectionism and get to work!
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Imagine this:
You’re about to take a long drive to visit your family. Do you sit there, analyzing every possible obstacle you might encounter along the way? Would you wait until you were sure all lights will be green along the way? Use your crystal ball to ensure no traffic jams along the way?
Of course you wouldn't!
You get in your car, turn the ignition, and start driving. You deal with any challenges as they come up—traffic jams, detours, or whatever else comes your way. You believe in yourself enough to know you'll figure it out as you go.
But in life, many people do the exact opposite.
They wait.
They wait for the “perfect” moment, the flawless plan, or the conditions to align before they take action. And the truth is, this is a recipe for failure. The truth is that the perfectionist always loses! If you consider yourself to be one, let's get you moving towards the success you desire!
Here’s why waiting for perfection is a losing game and why starting messy is the ultimate hack for success.
Why Perfectionism is just procrastination
Let’s face it:
Perfect conditions don’t exist. Life is unpredictable, messy, and full of curveballs. If you’re waiting for everything to feel right, you might as well be waiting for unicorns to deliver your morning coffee. We'll much sooner see honest politicians than perfect situations to get started on any goal.
And here’s the kicker: the longer you wait, the more you risk losing.
"Perfectionism" (a.k.a. insecurity) hold you back in the following ways:
- Time doesn’t wait for you. Every day you spend waiting for ideal conditions is a day you’ll never get back. Whether you’re putting off starting a business, getting in shape, or learning a new skill, the clock is ticking. Imagine looking back in ten years and realizing you wasted all that time waiting for a moment that never came. Are you okay with carrying that regret to your deathbed?
- Reality will mess up your plans anyway. Let’s say you manage to create the perfect, foolproof plan with 1862 detailed steps. Guess what? Life has a funny way of derailing even the best-laid plans. Steps 2 or 3 might blow up in your face, forcing you to pivot and rework everything. All that time you spent planning could’ve been used to make real progress instead.
- You miss out on the most valuable teacher: experience. Mastery of any skill or craft requires repetition, mistakes, and learning from those mistakes. Waiting for perfection means you’re robbing yourself of the chance to grow and improve through real-life experience. Procrastination is like stealing your own potential.
The reason why perfectionism is holding you back is because it robs you of the opportunity to learn and grow.
Think about it like this:
By the time a perfectionist has done 1 thing, an action taker will have done that same thing 10 times! The action taker will have learned at least 10 times as much. You cannot compete against a ruthless action taker while being a perfectionist!
You'll lose that battle every time.
Why Perfectionism is a trap
Let’s talk about the perfectionist’s mindset. It feels safe, doesn’t it? “If I wait until everything is perfect, I won’t fail.” But that’s an illusion. In reality, perfectionism is just fear in disguise. It's working on something for eternities until it's "perfect", because you fear that anything less will get you criticized.
Probably not what you want to hear, but it is what you need to hear.
Here's the real trap:
- Perfectionism is a paradox: Because you want to make sure you create something that's excellent, you spent ages on doing it. Because you have few repetitions, you don't get the experience needed to become excellent.
- Safety First Approach: Planning is safe. Keeping your work hidden for months (or years) is safe. Waiting for perfect conditions is safe. You're less likely to get criticism. Perfectionism is your mind playing it safe. It's just feelgood procrastination.
Perfectionism tricks you into thinking you’re making progress when, in fact, you’re stuck in neutral. Meanwhile, someone else is out there, making mistakes, learning, and getting ahead.
Action Creates Clarity
The secret to progress?
Take messy action.
It’s not glamorous, but it works. Here’s why:
- Action creates feedback. No amount of planning can predict everything. When you start, you’ll quickly figure out what’s effective and what isn’t. That’s data you can use to adjust your approach.
- Momentum builds motivation. The hardest part of any journey is the first step. Once you take it, you gain momentum. Even small wins, like completing a minor task, can boost your confidence and keep you moving forward.
- You’ll develop resilience. Every time you face a challenge and figure out how to overcome it, you build mental toughness. That resilience is invaluable because it prepares you for even bigger obstacles down the road. You also face potential critique, which develops your resilience further.
Let's be real:
You do not need to have the entire plan figured out. You don't need to be great to get started. You don't need great conditions. You need exactly none of those things to get started. But when you get started, you create all of these things!
Real-Life Examples of Starting Messy
Let’s make this practical.
Here are a few examples of starting before you're ready:
- Starting a Business: Instead of spending six months perfecting your website, launch it with the basics and improve it as you go. Many successful entrepreneurs started with rough versions of their products (MVP), learned what customers wanted, and iterated over time.
- Getting Fit: Don’t wait until you have the perfect workout plan, gym membership, and diet. Get to the gym. Let go of the ice cream. Go for more walks. Toss out the soda. There are plenty of things you can do to get started easily. You can only refine your habits, AFTER you have started them!
- Learning a Skill: Want to write a book? Don’t wait until you’ve mastered every storytelling technique and grammar. Write a terrible first draft. Write some tweets. Create a few blog posts. You can always edit and improve later, but you can’t edit a blank page
Spoiler alert: Nobody has everything figured out when they start. Not. A. Single. Person. (Nor any person in a relationship). Everyone learns through trial and error, plus learning from the errors of others (like you are now!).
Putting This into Practice
Over to YOU!
Don't let this be "just another blog post".
Remember that you only get the results that you work for. So, here's a simple technique that you can use right now to overcome perfectionism and procrastination.
- Identify the first step. Think about your goal. What’s one small action you can take right now that will move you closer to achieving it? It doesn’t have to be perfect; it just has to be something. Your only goal here is to get started.
- Count down from 5. The moment you identify the action, count backward: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. This helps you override hesitation and push yourself into action.
- Embrace the mess. Your first video will suck. Your first girl you approach will probably reject you. The first blog you write will be terrible. You'll get your ass kicked in your first sports match. And that's wonderful! It's where everyone starts.
- Show your work: Get into the habit of sharing what you're working on with people. This way, you're overcoming the fear of criticism and judgment. It helps you get useful feedback. But more importantly, the more you do this, the more fearless you get!
- Identify & Repeat: When you notice that you're falling back into procrastination, run through these steps again. Forget overthinking and elaborate plans. Just get back to the basics with that first step!
So, what does your first step look like?
Go take that right now!
Final Thoughts: The 80/20 Rule of Progress
Here’s a final thought to chew on:
10 things done at 80% quality will always beat 1 thing done at 97% (as perfection doesn't exist).
Why?
Because those 10 things give you 10 chances to learn, improve, and make an impact. Perfection might give you one polished result, but it robs you of the opportunity to gain valuable experience along the way. Repetition is the mother of all skill so make sure you get plenty!
Even this article is an example:
Could it be better? Sure. But if I spent days obsessing over every word, I wouldn’t get anything else done. My process is that I simply write. Think about it like this: If I edited this 17 times, does it truly make this a lot better? The information will be the same, but I will have wasted my entire day.
Hi, I Am Maikel
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With over 10 years in personal development, I've learned what does and does not work. This blog teaches you the lessons you need to become your BEST self!
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